The front page of the Sunday paper coupon insert, proudly introduces K-Y Intense Arousal Gel for Her, Scientifically proven to intensify female satisfaction and includes one coupon for $5.00 off K-Y Intense Arousal Gel and a second coupon for $2.00 off any other K-Y brand product. Flip a couple pages and you have a coupon for BarS Jumbo Franks, Scotties facial tissues and the Wisconsin Dell’s “Family Values” super summer saver card.

Sounds like a recipe: Toss in some K-Y Intense Arousal Gel, a Jumbo Frank and 9 months later you are gonna need the Wisconsin Dell’s Family Values super summer saver card.

I might just have to start coupon clipping again!

Swine Flu Patient Zero has been identified.

Doctors suspect Cindy Piglicker contracted Swine Flu and has been spreading it to friends and family after her visit to a local petting zoo.

Mrs. Cowlicker, friends of the Piglicker family, admitted to reporters they don’t invite the Piglicker family over to their farm that often but could understand how little Cindy became patient zero.

When asked why, Mrs. Cowlicker whispered, “Whenever little Cindy gets to the farm, she practically jumps out of the car, runs to the pig pen and starts … ummm … licking the pigs.”

Doctors have taken little Cindy Piglicker to a special research facility with the hope she holds the key to a new Swine Flu vaccine.

I am wandering around New York people watching and taking pictures. I turned the corner and found hole in the wall shop selling mini-stuffed cupcakes.

With a line ten people deep and the ground wet from drool, how could I resist trying a bite sized treat. I ordered two peanut butter cups and one peanut butter and jelly. I popped a peanut butter cup into my mouth.

My eyes glazed over as I slowly savored the mix of flavors. It is confirmed, there is a heaven and it is fulled with all-you-can-eat, calorie free, mini-stuffed cupcakes.

If your travels take you to New York, I highly recommend a detour for this finger licking good treat. http://www.bakedbymelissa.com (I would have included a picture of these treats, but I ate them before the thought even crossed my mind)

You know it is bad when …

Larry Flynt (Hustler Magazine fame) recently asked Congress for a $5 Million bailout to help “stimulate” the sexual appetite of America.

I am thinking of starting SNA … Social Networks Anonymous, a group for those recovering from their addiction to social networks. Anyone else admitted they have a problem and like to join me?