Vices

At a recent party, a friend’s guest said to me, “I don’t know what to think of you. You don’t have any vices.”

I found this to be an odd statement and have been chewing on it the last few days. No vices … is that so bad, or does it make me some kind of bad or freaky person? Will people shun me if I don’t have a naughty vice to talk about? What am I to do?

Lord only knows I’ve given many of them a whirl … I tried drinking and found I don’t care for the taste of most beverages. I tried smoking and that was the same as drinking. I tried cigars but they gave me a hangover the next morning. Drugs…I decided a long time ago to just say no. Porn…I like that, but it gets a bit boring after awhile. Then there are the items I don’t plan to publish on the internet and well, been there, done that and all I got was a lousy t-shirt.

This afternoon I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders! I felt like I was a part of “in-crowd” as I sat gorging. I have a vice! Every week or so, I find some excuse to indulge. I fight the craving as long as possible, then I just give in. I scream for ice cream! Mind you, not just any ice cream will do. Some folks will only drink a specific beer, or vodka. I crave Cold Stone Creamery, made fresh, with it smooth creamy texture and my choice of fixings. My mouth waters at the thought.

Now I can share my vice at the next party. Describing how each flavor and fixing makes me tingle with delight (queue up the sexy romance novel music). How I savor each lick of creamy goodness, relieved to know I have a vice.