Foam Party ’05 – Ode to my Chaffed Privates

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Just a warning…this one is of an adult nature and may offend some more sesible readers…

My great friend Dan was turning a magical age during our last trip to New Orleans. To celebrate, he wanted to do something crazy. New Orleans is the town you can find anything and everything crazy to do from excessive drinking, public flashing for beads to simulated sex acts on stage.

I was thinking we would go on a bar crawl and end up at one ot the sleazy strip clubs handing out dollars for some good old-fashioned gawking and groping. That wasn’t the plan at all, Dan was hell bent on attending a foam party at a local club.

You know, just the usual evening of dancing the evening away covered in slippery foam. How could I not check it out? I brought along a disposable pair of shoes and a pair of easy to clean, loose fitting nylon shorts.

About an hour or so into the evening, disaster struck. No, I didn’t gulp down a mouthfull of foam or fall down and hit my head. I started to feel a tingling down below. And no, not one of those, “I’m happy to see you” tingling. After another 30 minutes or so, the tingle turned to a burn. I had to give up and head to the showers.

Well, I won’t go into any further details, except to say, chaffing of the private parts is not an experience I want to repeat. I will admit, I enjoyed the foamerience and figure…”no pain, no gain”.

Ode to my Chaffed Privates

Writhing and gyrating in the foam
So slick and fun
Bumping and grinding in the foam
So slick and fun
Humping and pumping in the foam
So slick and fun

I feel the tingle
So slick and fun
The tingle spreads
So slick and fun
My tingle turns to burn
So slick and not so fun

I wryth and gyrate to the exit
So slick and not so fun
Into the shower to rinse the foam
Oh the BURN
The warm water fuels the flame
Oh the BURN

I gingerly dry
Oh the BURN
So red and swollen
Oh the Burn

I limp to the bar
Oh the BURN
I need a big drink to make me numb
Oh the BURN

I gulp it down with a grin
Oh the BURN
Images of dancing in the foam flash through my head
Oh so fun
Well worth the BURN